W.O.

Will Oelsnick the gate keeper of the bay, local football hero, non drinking party car driver and good friend.


do you feel you've come back 100% after breaking your leg in that horrific skateboarding accident on the mini quarter pipe at the Bunbury skate park?

That day was, indeed, a horrific day. I think I have recovered to an extent where I can say it doesn't affect me anymore. I only had 3 or 4 months off two stepping so it wasn't a big deal. Highlight of that whole incident was Chongy bringing me a Barely Legal pornographic magazine to hospital, then putting it just out of my reach with it open on a graphic image. I wasn't that popular with the nurses after that. but chongy launching a ping pong bat into my broken leg didn't speed up the recovery.

what do you think has been the best music release this year, I'm guessing your going to say new cold play?

Yeah new Coldplay is pretty sweet, but I prefer X&Y to it. Was new Lexicon this year? If it was definately record of the year. Iron Age 7". Extortion's "Sick". I just got Cruel Hand's new LP and it is good. Fuck, I always miss shit out in these "best of" lists. Would be heaps more that when I play next I will curse myself for leaving off.
I have yet to hear the full Trust Broken EP but if the leaked songs are anything to go by it is going to sit atop the pile.

do you have plans to grow your hair long again and reclaim the title " the OELSANATOR"?

I think it is up to the person who originally gave me the prestigous "Oelsanator" title, that been you. So many nights I deliberate this in my head. I seemed to actually get girls back in those days of flowing locks, Woodstock 440mls and Ruckus Trucks.

what was the naughtiest thing you did at school?

Not the naughtiest but I do remember been given a standing ovation by at least 100 students as I entered the school grounds with the seediest, dirtiest mullet.
I sent a pop up message to everyone in the school with a malicious rumor about some teachers and my friend Kyle Evill. I served some hard "Time Out" for that.
Pushing Kyle around in a wheelie bin scaring kids was good fun also. T
hese aren't that naughty but they are the most fun. Dropkneeing my moped onto the footpath was pretty cool too.

tell me about the best show you've been to, did you do a hard mosh?

I always do a hard mosh. Why would people go to shows if they didn't want to hard mosh. May as well listen to your iPod or something. Most Prince shows are up there. Bodyjar in 2001 when punk, pop/punk was at the height of it's powers was great. I pogoed, drank beer and pushed people a lot. Jaws last show at the Arthouse (feat Mindsnare/Extortion/SJN and Ontons Nose) was great too. Any Sunday HQ shows that Alan, You, David and me drove up too were great too.
Hard Luck and MA at the Prince when the bouncers chaired you around the Prince like you were Robert Harvey. To the strains of Worlds Apart been belted out acoustically by Horsnell, after first ejecting you from the premises was another level too.

hows work going?

Yeah not bad. Greig gets drunk sometimes and I end up waiting on site for a few hours before he comes. It's cool though because he is an all time legend. Katie has mastered the bullfloat and is on her way to cutting the pattern. We use Australind Pre Mix for hardstands now and it must be a condition that to work for them you have to have no teeth. I shudder to think I may end up like them. I'm just pushing stuff around, whether it be wheelbarrows or concrete. Kyle is the heart and soul of trowelboys though. Mad props K Dogg.

do you wanna break edge and get pissed when i come back to the homeland of roelands?

I'll say yeah. If I was going to start drinking again there would be no other place better. The sound of Danny Jameson cracking his stockwhip in the background while Chongy and Viv talk about fishing/diving around an open fire. May as well make throw in the Lexcen doing ringies and it's a certainty. Give it to me.

are you playing for peel or north melbourne next year?

I'll be playing for whoever is going to drop the most coin, so possibly North Melbourne. Let's face it, there is no loyalty left in football anyway. Give me the $$$. Also I have connections at North Melbourne having played with Winston Abraham. He told me that when he was living with John "Horse" Longmire", he was ironing his match day uniform and accidentaly ironed his dick. Apparently he has a huge member. I'm glad he is gone because my penis is average at best.

whats better at the bay? shit valley, left wall, right wall, the wall or the crane?

This is so tough. The crane was a big part of early bay days, I'm talking late 1998 here. When I would go to the beach with Viv with one bodyboard between us, before I got my Q Board for Xmas 98. So many times while surfing the wall in driving rain we would shelter under it's grease stained body. I have had my most memorable times there at the left wall though. I love skating down there after work to the sight of an over head high wedge perfectly forming, with no one out. I honestly believe that is when I am the most happiest in my life. I would rather surf waves like that by myself than pumping 6 foot waves down south. Memorable moments include Mark Calabrese's invert in 2002, it's on the authorised website. Camping down there most Spring holiday nights. Getting a bay card and driving down there. tristian Farmer, Colm Kavagnah, Steve Turner ruling. Owen Fenton aka backflip boy. Egg absolutely tearing every wave out there. I could go on for ever.

what is the best waves you've seen me catch he he he?

Walpole December 2006. Surfing House and you paddled into the wave of the day, a draining 4-5 Footer with a mutant Zone like appearance. I remember the look of sheer terror as you descended towards your doom. It was Andre Botha Tahiti Skins style. Jamo's lefts you seemed to rip too. Many waves in and around the bay, including DK go alongs at left wall.

would of you voted for xobamax?

Yes I would have. I heard he sold out at his celebratory party, but the guy is still cool. I hope he manages to turn the USA, and thus, the world in a better direction. If Tupac were alive now would he have to alter the lyrics of "Changes"? Because Mr Tupac, we have indeed seen a black president.

what is your best chongy story?

I'm sure between Chongy, Kyle and Dave Bill we could fill many A4 exercise books of their exploits. At the SWFL Grad Final last year, after a large night of drinking without sleep. The "Slabadactyl" really started to show. Both dactyl claws blazing, with childlike speech and movement skills he managed to offend or disgust almost everyone of the 6000 people present. He was kicked out of the beer tent 4 separate times. He also took a salad roll from the hands of a girl, had a bite then ditched it on the ground. With the day rolling to a close and grass all over his tongue, he took off in the direction of the Bunbury Football Club. But how to get there? He used his stealth like skils to steal a tyreless, chainless bicycle from a nearby house. It took him 15 minutes of full bore pedaling to realise his mistake. In true Chongy fashion he made the journey by pushing the bike along on it's rims with his bare feet to the football club.
He could tell it better and I'm sure the are are plenty of cooler ones to tell, but that was close to the maddest I've seen him. The Lizard King story is so good. Best heard when driving Dan's blue Subaru wagon.

would you rather win a Hayward medal or have stand or goal square of your choice named after you at the eaton oval?

I'd go with the stand. It would be amazing to hear a commentator in 50 years going "and the kick goes out to the Will Oelsnik wing". Ultimately, to captain Eaton's first premiership would mean more than a lot of things to me. If that happened I could definitely see myself putting the labrette back in and cracking open a 4 Litre flask of Fruity Lexia.

thanks will u r a mad dog. keep moshing, stay cold man, getachongyupya.

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